Relationality
and faith have become interchangeable terms for me of late. This brief paper means
to introduce my experience of their overlap. I believe that thereby lives of faith may
find an outlet in the world of persons.
I and many persons would describe themselves as being
interested in deepening (or maintaining) in faith, living from faith (as opposed to fear
or worry), and sharing the faith that has enriched our lives with others. Often our lives
of faith take shape in religious contexts, which frees them from the encumbrances of the
marketplace (where primarily materialism rather than faith is aimed for) but which may
limit our comfort with different expressions of faith development technologies, and, as
with children's dependency on their parents, may deprive us of levels of faith development
lacking in particular communities of religious practice.
Relationality is, as I see it, the most salient aspect
of acting from a place of faith in one's life. By relationality, which is a term from the
world of psychology, and best associated with theorists such as Carl Rogers (implicitly),
Robert Stolorow and George Atwood (students of the psychoanalyst Heinz Kohut), in their
term 'intersubjectivity', Maurice Friedman (a scholar on Martin Buber, who introduced the
concept of I-Thou relationships), in his term 'dialogical', and the women from the Stone
Center of Wellesley College (Judith Jordan, Alexandra Kaplan, Jean Baker Miller, Irene
Stiver, and Janet Surrey) who are making 'relationality' famous, I mean a 'being with'.
Staying in connection with 'other' (whatever that 'other' is) is the essence of 'being
with'. 'Staying in connection with' is a little described but, as I see it, profoundly
central and necessary aspect of being in a place of faith (and by 'place' I do not here
mean a geographic, but rather a teleological location).
When I am in connection with another person, for
example, there is a sense of ease of flow between us. It is as if I am rolling a ball
towards the other person, without the ball being impeded in its motion by any physical
forces (even the laws of friction are suspended, figuratively speaking). Connection, as a
lived experience feels, to me, pleasing, freeing, invigorating, and grounding.
With most everyone whom I encounter at some point there
are difficulties in connection and, even, disconnection. The way I feel when connection
feels difficult is as if I am needing to roll that aforementioned ball in constantly
changing cockamamy directions (as well as at constantly changing speeds) for the ball to
make it to the other person. This rolling ball can be seen as 'pure faith', 'deep love',
or 'the energy of connection'. |
